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👙☀️🩲 Landlord Post 🩲☀️👙

Updated: Apr 24, 2023

Hello Taverners!

You may have noticed that the weather has gotten a little hotter over the past few days, so we wanted to update some of the pub rules....

Line dancing classes are still going ahead, but please can we ask people to wear appropriate footwear! Last Week Flip Flop Fiona (two guesses what she wore) got a bit carried away with a Dosey Doe and when she went for the high kick, one of her flip-flops ended up taking out a small child and a table full of drinks.

The Bottle Skips are NOT to be used as Hot Tubs/ Plunge Pools! Not only is it giving us nowhere to put the empty bottles, but we've also had complaints from the neighbors about all the noise and constant bombing.

A note on appropriate outfits (selfies):-

We appreciate that in this weather, people are inclined to wear less clothing, but please keep those outfits for your garden and not the Tavern. Think working man's club and not Love Island, poolside. Trust me you don't wanna see Babycham Betty in a thong and neither do we. We have a hard enough job keeping the temperatures down, without giving the likes of Flat Cap Frank a Coronary watching the Miss Virtual Tavern Swimwear Round!

Oh and finally, if you see Dodgy Dave selling cheap suntan oil out of the back of his Van, I would give it a miss. Apparently, he's just filling up Hawaiian Tropics bottles with the chippy's used cooking oil. Obviously, it offers zero sun protection and has a lingering aroma that's certainly not tropical coconut.

Judging by the smell of fish and chips constantly wafting round the games room I'd guess that some of you have already fallen for his scam.

You have been warned.

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