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*** Landlord Post ***

Updated: Apr 24, 2023

We've had an update from Cakeshop Cath's legal representative. Apparently, she's watched one too many police dramas and tried to get off her charges by offering to turn Confidential Informant.

She's told them all about Colin's illegal Lockin's and said she is willing to wear a wire to get evidence of late-night after-hour drinking.

She threw Dodgy Dave under the bus for peddling his 'discount goods' and said they need to launch 'Operation Car Boot' and put the car park under surveillance.

She told them about Lorraine's bootleg gin that she sticks up on the Gordons optic (that was news to even me).

She grassed-up Benidorm Betty and her palls for their cigarette smuggling trips to Alicante.

She also suggested they do a dawn raid on Makeup Mary's place to uncover the haul of Boots testers she's lifted on her shopping trips.

And to think we were going to launch a #freecakeshopcath campaign. I wouldn't mind but apparently, all they did in the interview was asked if she wanted a tea or coffee. Next thing she was singing like a canary.

When asked for a comment at the scene our reporter got this statement "I watch a lot of telly and I've seen how they waterboard people to get a confession and attached car battery clips to yer nips, there was no way I was taking the wrap. I wouldn't last two minutes in prison, I mean look at me I'm a catch, I'd be big Brenda's girlfriend within the first week"

Last we heard she was given a £50 fine and 2 points on her license (when she gets one, as you don't need one for a mobility scooter).

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